Friday Joke - skiers, boarders and lifties

Since there is lots of snow and we are heading for a big powder weekend - here are some winter sports jokes
Have a nice weekend

Boarder Jokes:
Q. How many snow board instructors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three - one to hold it, one to video tape it and the other to say "AWESOME DUDE!"

Q. What do you call a snowboarder with no girlfriend/boyfriend?
A. Homeless

Q. What is the difference between a snowboard instructor and a snowboard student?
A. 3 days!

Q. If you have a car with 3 snowboarders in the back seat, what do you call the driver?
A. Officer!

Q. How does a snowboard instructor meet his group?
A. He rides into them!

Ski (instructor) jokes:
Q. How many skiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten, one to screw it in and the other 9 to stand around saying "Nice turn, nice turn, nice turn........."

Q. How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one - he holds it while the mountain revolves around him

Q. What's the difference between God and a ski instructor?
A. God doesn't think he's a ski instructor.

Q. How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. "None, ve scvrew in ze jaccusi you!"

And a couple for the lifties:
Q. How many lifties does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None - we just call maintenance!

Q. Why do lifties only get half a hour lunch break?
A. Because any longer and they need to be retrained!