24 July 2011

Anders Behring Breivik is above all a COWARD.

What kind of evil fuck detonates a huge bomb in a city centre and then heads to an island full of children and then sets about systematically murdering them? It is truely incomprehensible. Even the worst attrocites of the IRA or ETA don't come close. Nothing in the gun crazed US matches this and while the bombing of civillians in Iraq and Afganistein are equally tragic for the victims, they are not meticulously planned and callously executed by their own people. Maybe in the deepest darkest parts of war torn Congo, or in Rawanda such things have happened, but not in a quiet, peaceful and gentle country like Norway.

One thing that has not been said by anyone I have spoken to or read is that Anders Behring Breivik is above all a COWARD.

First he bombed a city centre, which in itself is a cowardly act. But even at the time this act didn't quite make sense. Anyone who knowns anything about Norway knows that the cities are empty and the mountain cabins are full in late July, especially on a Friday afternoon - it all seemed wrong?

And indeed it was wrong becuase the bomb was mearly a distraction, a clever decoy and while all eyes turned on the devestated town centre, Breivik drove two hours away, took a boat to a small island full of 700 kids on a youth camp. He then set about murdering them for the next hour. When the police arrived he immediately surendered.

All of this is so cowardly in every way! To kill unarmed people with a machine gun; to kill children, not even adults who might fight back. To give up as soon as the police arrived and not even kill himself. This man is utterly pathetic and as such a typical nazi bully.

Norway on the other hand has shown itself to be hugely dignified in the face of such loss. Many commentators were quick to predict the "end of the innocance" but I am not so sure. I think people here value the openess and  trust of their society too much to let some evil Nazi coward take it all away. After 9/11 George "war-monger" Bush decleared that the United States would "hunt down and destroy the perpetrators", while after last Friday, Jens Stoltenberg said that "Norway would retaliate with more democracy".

And that is what is so great about Norway...

22 July 2011

Friday Joke - Condoms

Interesting piece of history.
The Arabs invented the condom in 700 BC, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

Q. What does a rattlesnakes and a rubber have in common?
A. I know I don't wanna screw with either one of them.

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

20 July 2011

The Wednesday Whale

There were whales in Bergen harbour last weekend which was rather awesome.
A while ago I found this on the internet and forgot to post it. I think its pretty amazing and well worth watching.
It's a home movie by a group of fishermen who find a whale entagled in an old fishing net - its really rather moving, espeically the end. Enjoy.

18 July 2011

Whales in Bergen harbour

A pod of grindhvale (pilot whales) have been spotted in and around Bergen harbour. About one hundred including lots of mothers and babies. The locals are justifiably very excited. Lots of good pictures here.

This joyous event comes on the same day that Norway voted with Japan and Iceland at the ongoing IWC meeting in Jersey to block the establishment of a southern Ocean whale sanctuary.

The irony is crushing!

11 July 2011

2011 part 1

So here we are half way through what is undoubtably the busiest year of my life so far. Any previous complaints about being "very busy" are blown out of the water by this battle cruiser of a year!

So far 2012 has seen the birth of our daughter and a rather substantial increase in personal responsibility. I was warned that "it will f**k yer life up, in the best possible way" and I think that's a pretty good summary for what has happened. Everything has changed and it's great. She is such an amazing addition to our lives that it is very hard to imagine life without her. I am very lucky to be in this adventure with Katharine and we are both excited to see who she grows up to be, but there is no rush, everyday brings something new.

We also got married this year and to make things even more complicated we did it three times. First time was in Leeds registry office where we did the legal bit. Then we had a party at Mytholme for our UK family and friends followed by a similar bash in Bergen for our Norwegian based friends. I think the take-away from two weeks of partying was that we are really lucky to have so many great friends who really know how to party. We are now well and truly married and it feels good.

We have spent most of the spare time this summer getting the house in Norway ready to sell. Lots of jobs that never got finished because going climbing or kayaking was more appealing are all suddenly getting done. The place looks good! Shame to be leaving! Still I have enough photos of the sunset for a game of "sunset snap" and my year long time lapse project was finished, so I will have lots of good memories to take away. Eight years has flown by but I still love this place. The thing that will make it all worth while is that we have an awesome place to go to in Scotland.

We got the planning approved on Cowieswells and we should be starting building work in September. We are both very excited about it and we're getting very impatient waiting for it to get started. There is lots to think about, not least bathrooms, kitchens, what type of land rover to buy, what type of veg to grow in the garden and llamas vs alpacas. It's all very exciting.

Work going well, after lots of delays the company is now drilling its first three wells. From feast to famine! Still its what we have spent the last five years working for so we shouldn't complain. First one is at least a discovery and we will know more about the next two before the end of this week. Exciting times!

To add chaos to the busy-ness two key people, including the guy who founded the company with me and the woman who was supposed to cover for me during my paternity leave, quit in feb. That threw a serious spanner in the works and meant that I had to come back early after Sophie was born and we aren't getting a honeymoon. That was no big deal, but then when they started to poach away key people while bullshitting about how much they care about the company, then I got pissed off. It's really frustrating to watch people you thought were friends trying to wreck everything that you have worked for... Still as we keep saying "it's not meant to be easy, if it was easy then somebody else would have already done it".

Work at the Uni is going great. It's good to have such a good bunch of guys (and girl) to work with. Every time I spend time with them I wish there was more days in the week and I had more time to work on this stuff. Still I am very lucky to have the option to do both jobs and next year...

And that's about it for the year so far, had child, got married, designed house, drilled three wells, prepared house for sale... Part 2 of 2011 will be, sell house, move country, build house and drill two more wells, sounds daunting but it feels pretty good to be half way through the madness and I reckon the hardest bit is behind us.

And as for 2012, who knows?

08 July 2011

NotW Jokes

Wow, who saw that coming? Harry Potter and the News of the World. Two of the biggest selling copies of modern fiction ending in the same week.

When I read the headline, 'News of The World is shut', I thought it was a typo.

That's very inconsiderate of Rupert Murdoch to close down the News of the World.
What's my cat supposed to shit on now?

Good to see News Of The World editor Rebekah Brooks following in the footsteps of Paul Scholes.
Hacking people due to the fact they're bitter and twisted about being a little ginger twat.

Journalists at Rupert Murdoch's daily tabloid have been consoled by the Australian media magnate over the closure of the News of the World.

He told them not to think of it as the death of a sister newspaper, but rather the birth of a new Sun.

Rebekah Brooks is leading the investigation into the News of the World phone hacking.
How about we get Ronald McDonald to look into childhood obesity?

06 July 2011

The News of the Screws!

I have stayed away from blogging (ranting) about politics for a while because there is too much going on in real life to get stressed out about a bunch of twats in London. Also there are too many good things going on in my life to feel angry about pretty much anything.

However, I will make an exception for the current News of the World phone hacking story. The back story, if you don't follow the UK news, is that a paper called the News of the World, which is the pits of the UK gutter press; skanks getting plugged by married footballers, celebrates failing rehab etc etc, all with an unhealthy dose of moral indignation, racisim and sexism thrown in; has just stirred up a whole heap of shit.

The case revolves around the paper using private detectives to hack the mobile phones of "news worthy" people for information a few years ago. This is clearly illegal, but nobody really cared too much because the only people effected were a bunch of vacuous media whores who spend half their lives trying to get into the news and the other half bitching about invasion of privacy.

So the Guardian kept bringing up the story and everyone ignored it, despite the fact it was clear that the Police had taken bribes to not investigate the case properly; the governements chief media consultant was the ex-editor of the NotW and finally the paper is owned by super scumbag Rupert Murdoch to whom the governement is about to handover compelete control of satalite TV in the UK.  If all this it sounds like a nasty corrupt, tin-pot Third World dictatorship, its because that is what my homeland has become.

But the fair people of Britian didn't really give a monkeys as long as they could read about Lyndsey Lohan's drug problems and Spud face Rooney's love of massage parlour exploits. The general population ignored the fact that their police force could be bought by journalists and their politicians were self-serving scum, content to be drip fed a constant stream of mindless tittle-tattle.  That was right up to the point when it emerged that the same private detectives had hacked the mobile phone of a young girl called Milly Dowler, who was abducated and murdered a few years ago. Could it get worse? Well actually yes, because after he had hacked the phone and listened to the messages from her distraught friends and family looking for her, he then deleated them to make more room on her voicemail box. This led the police to believe that she was still alive and focus on her parents private lives which was not only stressful for them but also resulted in the real killer being able to escape and kill again, at least twice! Whoops!

The private detective is a gutter crawling twat - no doubt about it. I am sure that by the time he gets out of  prison next time (he has already been in once), he won't be too keen to pick up the soap in the shower. But the real scumbags here are the bosses of the NotW like Rebeke Wade who are falling over themselves to claim they were on holiday at the time and claim they knew nothing about it, despite in the minimum fostering the culture that laid to that sort of behavour and at worse sanctioning it and paying tens of thousands of pounds to the police to cover it up.

But even lower than Murdoch and his cronies are our disgrace of a government. David Camer-wrong who employed ex NotW editor Andy Coulsden as his press secetary and until the heat got too much was defending him to the hilt. Only when the public indignation got too great did he suddenly, sensing the way the wind was blowing, change tack. What a lying, spineless, gutter snip. And still they are lining up to give Murdoch control of BSkyB - its an utter disgrace. How low can my country sink?

Wednesday Movie

Just when I was getting pleased with my time lapse skills I found this!
Absolutely stunning.
If you enjoyed that, check out his blog http://www.terrastro.com/galleries/

01 July 2011

Summer Joke

Summer in Bergen is a joke, so here is another summer joke

One hot summer day, a man is filling up his black pickup truck at the local gas station. He isn't very careful, and he gets gasoline all over his jacket's left sleeve. He ignores it, and leaves the station after paying for the gas. As he's driving down the highway, the heat of the sun on his truck's black paint is enough to ignite his jacket sleeve. He drives faster, waving his arm out the window in an attempt to extinguish the flames, but they burn hotter! As he speeds down the highway, a state trooper sees the situation and pulls him over. He jerks the man out of the truck and rolls him on the ground until the fire is extinguished. As the man dusts himself and thanks his rescuer, he sees the officer is writing him a summons! Confused, he asks, "You're writing me a ticket!? What for?" The officer replies, "Posession of an illegal fire arm."

And a joke about large people
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" "No, from all that skipping."