Speed Camera Locations on the E16 (Lærdal, Flåm and Gudvangen tunnels)

Speed limits in Norway are very low and they are enforced brutally. That is part of life and reflects the Nordic nanny state philosophy.

Speed cameras are common and in most cases there are signs just before them to let you know that they are coming up. In my opinion this is a fair system if the aim of the camera is to reduce accidents rather generating revenue. For example, if there is a dangerous junction, a signposted camera before it will calm the traffic and reduce the chance of accidents - success. A speed camera without a sign will not slow the traffic and will not reduce accidents, but is more likely to make money for the government. This is the case in the UK. Since most of the cameras in Norway are signposted, I have no beef with them, and while I believe the actual speed limits are too low, that's a seperate issue.

The exception to the sign posted cameras is within the tunnels where the sign only occurs at the entrance. This is fine for some of the short tunnels but when these tunnels are 10, 12 or even 25 km long it's a ball ache. Especially since in winter the tunnels provide the best driving conditions and the best chance to overtake all those trucks and losers who want to spend 6 hours going from Bergen to Hemsedal.

So as a public service, I have recorded all the speed camera locations in the tunnels on the E16, this is useful when going from Bergen to Hemsedal, or Oslo. This guide does not covere the cameras on the open roads that are sign posted, including a new one by the Shell station in Dale, these are just the ones in the big tunnels.

East bound (from Bergen)
Gudvangen tunnel - just before 8km
Flåm tunnel - one camera just at the start and one at the end
Lærdal Tunnel - at 2km, just before 15km and just before 22km

West bound (toward Bergen)
Lærdal Tunnel - just before 10km and just before 23km
Gudvangen Tunnel - just before 10km

IMPORTANT

Please note Karmasotra does not promote dangerous or reckless driving. This info is to help you avoid tickets, not to encourage you to endanger yourself or anyone else. Good driving is not just about going slow, it's about being on the ball, knowing your limits and being sensible. Stay Safe :-)

Atle's car

Four years ago I sold an old Volvo 340 to my good friend Atle for 5000 nok. The car was pretty beaten up but ran fine and Atle was a student so he was happy to have transport.

A couple of months after I sold him the car I was cleaning out my desk and I found the spare key. My initial thought was to pass it on to him, but then I had a better plan...

For the next 2 years, I carried the key on my key-ring and when ever I saw his car parked I would move it. I started out by just turning it around, then moving it one or two spaces in the garage or street, then ultimately moving it to the other end of the garage and even to a different street.

We can never be sure when he figured that something was going on. Everyone else knew, so when he got drunk he would surreptitiously ask if the security guard moved anyone’s car in the garage and we would all look surprised and say no. He came to my office one time and said his car had been stolen, I said that I had seen it in the street and he went away convinced that he must have parked it out there and forgotten. Latterly, he constructed various elaborate mechanisms for the security guards to move his car from the garage (where he parked illegally) with a pallet loader, trolley jack and tow truck. At one stage he called the security and asked them to stop moving his car.

We kept this up for about two years until he finally sold the car. For a further two years we kept him in the dark, although all his friends knew, his wife knew, even people who had never met him knew. That was until today!

We were having a slow 5 minutes in an otherwise chaotic day in the office and we told him - here is the reply, which came by e-mail ten minutes later...

"I have to applaud your where’s-atles-car game which as a practical joke is ingenious. I hope that my revenge will be of similar quality and creativity. I am not surprised by your cunningness.
In fact my only surprises are:
John, the biggest gossip database the universe managed to shut up about it for 3 years
Roy, the smuggest motherfucker in space managed not to be smug about it for 3 years
Not surprisingly on the other hand: T-bone, the cooooolest dude on planet earth kept a cool face for three years.
Cunts, I salute you!"

Bomber

So I guess we can say that was a result then.

Driving in Norway 1 – That ridiculous right hand rule…

One of the most traumatic aspects of driving in Norway is the “right hand rule”. This archaic rule dates back to when cars had a maximum speed of 10 km/h and there were lots and lots of junctions with no defined right of way. In essence the rules says that on main roads out in the countryside and larger roads in town the person travelling on the road has right of way while on smaller roads especially in suburban areas the person joining from the right at a junction has the right of way. The theory sounds simply but the reality… The reality is a total fuckin nightmare!

It is pretty easy to know as you plod along the E18 from Oslo to Bergen that, on the main road you have right of way and only an idiot would pull out in front of you. Likewise on the little backstreets in the middle of town you know that at any moment somebody is highly likely to come in from the right and so you drive accordingly. So far so good.

The problem is that there is a huge grey area between the big open roads and the suburban back streets. Roads were you have right of way are marked by a yellow diamond, but these signs are infrequent and it is not uncommon for a road to change status along its length. So as you happily drive along with the right of way suddenly an idiot in a taxi (they are all idiots) will suddenly pull right across your path and it will be your fault! Yep its that logical!

It gets worse. Even in built up areas where people to the right have access its unclear as to what constitutes a road. A driveway to a house is not a road, so you can’t pull-out from your drive – fair enough. Even pulling out from a driveway that connects two or three houses is not allowed. So what is a road? Apparently the magic number is six! If a track serves six or more houses then you can launch yourself into the path of oncoming traffic safe in the knowledge that when some poor sod t-bones you, its their fault. The result of this is that you drive through built up areas staring at the signs that show the house numbers trying to count and calculate if the person heading in from your right is likely to stop and hoping that they know how many neighbours they have.

Furthermore, no-one is really sure what constitutes a road. The strip of tarmac that heads from the main road through Sandsli into Statoilhydros office complex. It looks like a road but its private property. Everyday around 3pm its carnage as either both cars stop or both try to proceed believing they have right of way. Nobody I have asked actually seems to know what the legal position is and everyone is scared and confused.

Some argue that it would cost too much to have a sign at every road junction – bollox! This is the second richest country in the World. In fact they are currently changing all the signs for the zebra crossings because the figure, who looks rather daper in his hat, is too masculine! Apparently some poor women are not sure if they are allowed to use these crossings, and there are even people without hats who are uncertain if they can cross. Others claim that the scaletrix dads who run the country keep it like this to slow the traffic down – yes for real, I have heard that argument on more than one occasion. If promoting anarchy makes the roads safer then lets follow it to its logical conclusion and abolish all the traffic rules. Make it like Asda on a saturday afternoon, totally chaotic but at least nobody ever gets killed because everything is grid locked and nobody is going anywhere.

Me – my next car will be a tank with extra armour on the right hand side. Then I am not stopping for anyone unless there is a whiteline and a give-way sign. Just like the rest of the civilised world*

And yes I know the French have a similar version of this rule but, A) theirs is much more toned down and; B) I don't count that as part of the civilised world.

Life in Norway IV - Sacred Cows

Norway is one of only two countries in Europe where the responsibility at a pedestrian crossing lies solely with the driver. Consequently pedestrians can and do wander blindly into the streets while cars screech to a halt to avoid them. These people go to significant effort to launch themselves, from the pavement into the road without establishing eye contact with drivers and ignoring the fact that someone has just stopped for them. In fact it is exceedingly uncool to even acknowledge that the 1.5 tonnes of metal that has just been brought to a halt for your benefit even exists.

Scott pointed out that it was very similar to the "sacred cows" in India who drift amongst the traffic.

And now its official - at least its in the paper, Norway is the most dangerous place in Europe to use a zebra crossing. In fact more people die on crossings than anywhere else on the road. But don't worry, you and I are safe, we will instinctively look before we cross the road. Its that special breed of norwegain scared cow that is taking a hammering and bumping up the stats. And thats in a country where drivers are aware, driving slow and trying very hard to avoid them. God only knows what happens when they go abroad - it must be carnage

Anyway next time you drive through a Norwegian town and a "sacred cow" launches randomly into the road and avoids eye contact - just mooow at them, they have a short life expectancy