Interesting piece of history.
The Arabs invented the condom in 700 BC, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
Q. What does a rattlesnakes and a rubber have in common?
A. I know I don't wanna screw with either one of them.
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.