Its Friday and I am a bit snowed under, here is an oldie that always makes me laugh. And it's not rude of sexist. This version was sent to me by my Bro
Dave disappeared for a year. When he returned to work and his boss asked where he had been, he claimed to have been around the World meeting everyone. "Everyone?" said his boss, "what all 6 billion people in the World?"
"Yep", said Dave "I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
So his boss tries to call his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"
"No drama's boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happenin?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"
Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.
"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,
"Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are from Europe, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the f*#k's that on the balcony in the white gown with Dave?