02 July 2010

Friday Joke - Atheist Humour

The weekend is here again! It's been a pretty busy week which included my birthday.
Off to the Jotenheim this weekend to bag the highest peak in Norway...
In the meantime here is some atheist humour for the weekend (all stolen from here)

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”
A Christian, a Jew, and an atheist are standing in line to be executed during the French Revolution. The christian is first, and he lays down on the guillotine. Before the executioner pulls the lever he shouts, "My god will save me!".

The lever is pulled, and the blade swooshes down, stopping just short of his neck. The executioner, believing a miracle of god has occurred, figures he can't kill this man, as so sets him free.

The Jew lays down on the guillotine. Like the christian, he shouts, "My god will save me!".

The lever is pulled, the blade falls, and once again it stops just short of his neck. The executioner, again, believes god is on this man's side, and lets him go.

Finally, the atheist lays down on the guillotine. He shakes his head and examines the guillotine. After a while he finds a small stone wedged in the gears, and says to the executioner,

"It's nothing to do with any God, this is your problem..."

The moral?

There's a time and a place for skepticism.

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