Scotsmen

A brief thought experiment:

• A recent study conducted by Aberdeen University found that the average Scotsman walks about 900 miles a year
  
• Another study by the Scottish Medical Association found that Scotsmen drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
  
• This means, on average, Scotsmen get about 41 mpg (miles per gallon). 41 mpg is 6.9 liters per 100 km for all you metric europeans.

Pretty efficient, especially when you consider the they will operate on all sorts of really cheap shitte (e.g. buckfast).

Interesting, but it gets better

• There are approximately 8760 hours in a year
• Therefore the average speed of a Scotsman is 900/8760 = 0.1 mph

Kinda slow...

Now according to the BBC, the slowest mammal on Earth is the three toed sloth which does....

You guessed it... 0.1 mph

From that I think we can safely conclude that

Scotsman are sloths wrapped in tartan travel blankets, but they are cheaper to run than a Ford Focus

Thanks to Dan for the initial data