25 August 2008

Life in Norway VI - The Norwegian Royal Family

If you thought the British Royal family were a disgrace, and they are, you should see the Norwegian one, less inbred and unpleasant but much more colourful. The elder royals seem ok, King Harald and Queen Sonja are fairly restrained and well respected, he is also pretty handy in a sail boat. The next generation however, is a different story. The crown prince, Haakon married Mette-Marite, who in the early 1990’s was a drug taking rave-chic, who has allegedly appeared in a few dodgy movies and had a child by a convicted drug dealer. She seems to have quietened down a bit in the last couple of years and slipped in to the role of demure royal quite well. So you might just say, good for her, at least she has a colourful past and is in touch with real people. A few countries around the world would be better off if they had a crown princess who had ”given it large” and popped a few e’s in their younger days.

However Haakon’s sister Martha-Louise is a different story – she is an absolute barking fruit cake! She is obsessed with fairies and claims to have clairvoyant skills which she got from communicating with horses in her younger years. Tales of her whakyness are abundant, most recently she has started a college, Astarte Education, were you can do a three year course in ”talking to angels” at the bargain cost of 24000 nok per year. To open a school for “talking to angles” you are either a nutcase or a con-artist, her constant breaches and twists of planning regulations indicates the latter more than the former, but if her general demeanor is anything to go by, she is just another delusional nutter, all be it with a royal background. Either way it does not paint a very good picture of the family or the country.

She is the elder child but fortunately when she was born the line of succession went to the first male born in the line. This was changed in 1990 but Harald was shrewd enough to see his daughter was not fit to run an egg and spoon race let alone a country and refused to back date the change. Smart guy.

Most Norwegians, well they are a pretty patriotic bunch and they love the King and Queen. The also love Haakon and Mette Marite, despite the fact that he has a beard and she has a colourful past, illegitimate child and tongue-twister of a name. As for Martha the loon – they are fantastically tolerant as only Norwegians can be.

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