Friday Joke on Saturday

Just heading back from a rather busy few days in Calgary, so the Friday joke is a bit late...
(and they don't improve with age!)
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A clown walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You better not try anything funny in here"

A default sans serif font walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry we don't serve your type here"

Shakespeare walks into a bar, and the bartender says, 'Oi, you can't come in 'ere! You're bard!'

Helium walks into a bar. Bartender says "We don't take kindly to your kind here." Helium doesn't react.

A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you." "Why not?" asks the snake. The bartender says, "Because you can't hold your liquor."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage chesse, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."
One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender figures that a kangaroo probably isn't very economically aware, and charges him $50. The marsupial orders a beer next time, and is charged $60. Finally, the bartender's curiosity gets the better of him. He casually remarks, "You know, we don't get too many kangaroos in here."
The kangaroo replies, "At these prices, I am not surpised."