21 April 2009

Wookie John

Had a visit the other evening from an ex-student of mine from my Liverpool days who, due to his uncanny likeness to Chewbacca, was called Wookie John back in the day. He was over visiting Roy who described it like "Renton having Franco Begbie to stay in Trainspotting. You never know quite know what's going to happen next". They came out to the lair for a barbi on Thursday night.

John comes from a fairly rough part of North Wales and always had a passion for knives and crap cars. After his degree he trained to be a teacher and ended up working in a special needs school in the roughest part of one of the roughest towns in Wales. The school is the last hope for really bad kids before they get sent down. Once you get expelled from this one the next stop is jail. John seems to be getting on pretty well there and regaled us with some funny stories of what the kids get up to and how he deals with teaching and crowd managment on a day to day basis.

Life in North Wales is an extension of the "Jerry Springer show". Our own cousins are prime examples, multiple kids by multiple fathers, boob jobs, fake tans, anorexia, family quarrels etc etc, they have it all. So it follows that John's tale of life since uni was only getting to get better and it did.

John has a son who he evidently adores, but he is separated from the mother, no big deal but the custody battles sound rather interesting. He then found out via Facebook that he was going to have a second child, not with the mother of his first child, nor with the girl he was living with at the time. His cuurent girlfriend, who was already slightly unhinged due to excessive drug use, then totally lost the plot.

Amongst the things she did to get "revenge" was to invite him around for tea and then called the police claiming rape while he was setting in her living room drinking his cuppa. The Police kicked in the door and dragged him out, locking him up for 16 hours. He was then suspended from teaching for 7 months while the case went to court. In that time he started doing other bits and bobs to keep busy which included dishing out parking tickets until somebody deliberately ran over his foot. He also then got heavily into the rave scene, which is very much alive and well in the north west despite the rest of the world having moved on to floppy hair, indy guitar music 10 years ago.

He was eventually acquitted of the rape charge, when the psychotic girlfriend couldn’t remember what her story was supposed to be and he is now back working at the school and the kids are very happy to see him.

And just to confirm his ability to attract randomness, while he was in Bergen he was walking down the street and a large Rasta approached him with a carrier bag full of recreational pharmacuticals. Now in 7 years in this town I have never seen a dealer on the street, let alone been approached by one. I guess looking like a starwars character has that effect.

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