Friday Joke is back

I know it seems a bit naff but I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the law on our way home from the odd session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks in Newcastle and had a few too many beers. 
Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before.
I took a bus home. Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past. 
I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and I'm not sure where I got it.

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I picked up this MILF the other night, she was late 40s but not bad for her age, few drinks, bit of a snog etc. Anyway she invites me back to hers and in the taxi she asks me if I'm up for a 'sportsmans double'? WTF is a sportsmans double? I ask and she explained its a mother/daughter threesome! F**king jackpot I thought :-)
She walks in the house and switches the hall lights on and shouts up the stairs "mum get your teeth in, he's up for it"