In our last thrilling instalment…
...our heroes were living in near third world conditions without phone or internet for almost three months. The stress was beginning to show and there was some cursing and even threats to assault Maureen Lipmann with one of Sadam’s missing nuclear weapon. Now the saga continues, but will it result in a satisfactory conclusion? Will our heroes get back on line? Will BT manage to salvage the last traces of their once glorious brand from the gutters of Bangalore? Or is it game over for the company that once supplied telecom services to an empire?
Dear BT – Part 2
I am very unhappy to have to write to you again. Last time I wrote a very nice man called Daniel, promised that your customer service would call me back in 48 hours but of course they didn’t. A rude woman from Newcastle then told me I should be happy to wait 5 days – so I resigned myself to other week scrounging internet access from coffee shops and friends. Little did we know, it was about to get worse, in fact at this point we didn’t imagine that it could get worse. So naïve!
So while we were waiting for somebody in the complaints department to bother to do their job, the overzealous Nazis in the billing department went into my bank account and extracted £155, without notification and without any justification. Which in my book makes it theft. At this point I can not begin to tell you how angry I was. I was so mad that I waited the weekend before calling to, dare I say, complain. The women I spoke to in billing wasted another twenty minutes of my life (and my mobile phone credit) before saying that if I ordered broadband then you would credit me the £155. My £155, the one that you stole from me.
Fuck me! There are warlords in Somalia who could learn from your techniques. Out of the blue you cut off my phone and internet, then when I asked to be reconnected you tortured me for 2 months and finally when I opted to go elsewhere you went into my bank, took money from me and said I could only have it back if I buy services from you. THIS MUST BE ILLEGAL? Its extortion!
So I had to go back to work and the women in the “appear incompetent whilst surreptitiously robbing peoples bank accounts” department promised to call me back after 5pm, which of course she didn’t. At least at this point we were not expecting a call so we were not disappointed. Low expectations are the key to dealing with you and your organization.
Then three days later, just as we had pretty much given up ever getting this resolved we got a call from a man in the complaints department called Daniel. Daniel appeared like a Knight on a white charger out of the murkey gloom of incompetence and apathy that is your organization. I knew things were going to be different with him because when he called he already knew what was going on. He showed a real understanding of the issues, he shared my frustrations and he offered sensible solutions. He has organiased monies credited to our account. He arranged for engineers to come out and tinker with lines, he didn’t offer us any more wireless routers. He didn’t try and sell us more broadband, he just did his job politely and efficiently. We love Daniel and if this gets sorted it will be solely down to him. Your organization is a disgrace and I humbly suggest that you need to get introspective and make some pretty substantial changes. And if you think I am alone in my woes I suggest you Google “BT customer service” and see what you find. With the exception of the pages you have put up there, it’s not a pretty story
Some statistics from our experience
11 – the number of times we have called your costumer services department
6 – the number of times people have promised to call back and haven’t
5 the number of wireless routers that we have been sent or offered
3.5 the number of months that we have now been without a phone or broadband line
96 – the number of café lattes I have had to buy and drink in order to access the wireless internet in the coffee shop around the corner
5 – the approximate number of years that the stress has reduced by life expectancy by
150,000 the approximate number of people in your organization
149,999 the approximate number of people in your organization that are useless
So we wait in eager anticipation of Monday morning when the engineer comes around to install a new line and then billing department give back the money they stole. When (if) that happens we will be very happy to say
Thank you Daniel and goodbye BT