Evil bastard ninja centipede
This unprovoked attack lead to an interesting discussion. It was clear that this thing was poisonous, my foot was swollen and growing. But how poisonous? Are we talking bee sting or death in 10 minutes? There are plenty of poisonous snakes and scorpions in the area but nobody knew anything about any killer ninja centipedes. My logic was that if it where deadly I would have heard about it, Andy was more concerned, which was ironic since it was my foot. But since we were at the end of the day and the hospital was on the way home we stopped in.
An elderly Afrikaans nurse was highly bemused and said she had never seen or heard of this before. She then proceeded to inject me in the arse, although I am not sure what with, probably with saline solution she keeps next to the band aids the stick on peoples foreheads to cure headaches. That’s now 3 trips to hospital in 4 field seasons!
So this weeks joke is about a centipede...
Rodents vs Insects – Football World Cup
A team of rodents were playing a team of insects in the finals of the very small football world cup. The rodents totally dominated the first half and at half-time were leading 6-nil.
At half-time the insects made a substitution and brought on the centipede. He was stunning, great ball control, very aggressive play and within 15 minutes had personally scored 7 goals and set up another 3. The insects went on to win the game 14-6. In the dressing room afterwards the captain of the rodents was chatting to the insect captain.
"That centipede of yours is terrific," the captain of the rodents said. "Why didn't you play him from the start?"
"We'd have liked to," replied the insect captain, "but it takes him 45 minutes to get his boots on."