Friday Joke - on sunday (it's been a bit busy!)

A family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave her, her very own hard hat and gloves.

At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two Pounds in 10 Pence coins. The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.
'You must have worked very hard to earn all this,' said the bank cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked all last week with the men building a big house.'
'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier. 'Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?'
The little girl thought for a moment and said...
"I think so. Provided those w*nkers at the building suppliers deliver the f*cking bricks and it doesn't p*ss down with rain."

Wednesday Movie

Two unrelated videos this week - first whoever thought snowboarding was an on piste activity should check out this stunning video on cross country snowboarding - I think it will remain a minority sport.  (Stolen from Ola - again)

And while the passers by watch with disinterest this old lady kicks crap out of 6 robbers at a jewellary shop in middle England. I guess the guy with the video camera feels like a coward now. Courtesy of Gareth.

Waiting Game

Made it into the second month of the busiest year of my life. Hanging out in Aberdeen waiting for the arrival of our offspring. Katharine is getting bored of waiting and keen for our little girl to make her entrance. I have been working from the flat during the day, running up a large phone bill and wearing out my new lap top. I rather like working from the couch, its comfy and I may have to get one for my office. Also been getting lots of outstanding jobs done including talking to the architect, wedding planning, etc etc.

A friend advised me that we should do lots of things together before the baby arrives, I guess the subtext is that it won't happen after! So we have been to the cinema a couple of times, been eating out and been for long walks. Its been nice.

Saw the Kings Speech which was a great movie, even if it was pretty much devoid of facts. It totally failed to capture the degree of Nazi symphathy amongst the british royal familiy in the lead up to the second world war. But it was well acted fiction and enjoyable.

Also went to see NEDS which was powerful, funny and very sad, all at the same time. It was a bit unpolished and certain bits were unlikly while others were totally unnecassary (the jesus scene) and the ending was downright random. But it was well worth watching, even with the aberdonian NEDs in the audience laughing at all the very sad bits - freaks.

Also watched the first weekend of the rugby. A rather weak Wales lost to a very lucky England by fortune of a forward pass and some crap kicking by James Hook. Despressing to read the UK (English) papers which were utterly biased both before and after the game. Also watched Scotland vs France which as a totally passive outsider was one of the best games I have seen in years.

Tomorrow heading to Cowieswells to cut down some trees and make a final review of the plans before they are submitted for outline planning permission.

Message to our unborn daughter

At some point in the next two or three weeks we will finally meet and you will begin your life in this World. Your impeding arrival has already changed our lives and I am in no illusion that that impact will decrease after you take your first breaths. We are embarking on a whole new adventure together and it’s going to be a roller coaster ride. As John T said “having kids will ruin your life… In the best possible may”. I am sure he’s right.

I have no doubt you will be beautiful and perhaps more importantly I am sure that you will be tough and smart. The next 20 years will be as big a challenge for us all so in the calm before the storm I have jotted down a few bits of advice that may be useful:

• Be empathetic, kindness and empathy are the critical attributes that define the essence of what it is to be human.
• Always try and protect the weak. Being strong and smart is a gift that should be used wisely, the bully is the lowest of the low.
• Work hard/play hard – there is only one life and most probably nothing after it, so don’t waste your time doing nothing, seize every moment and use it to its full. Carpe Diem.  
• Cultivate an enquiring mind – try at all times to be open minded and enquiring, question everything and striving to understand the world around you, avoid dogma.
• Avoid ignorance – despite the belief of a large sub-culture in Britain, there is nothing attractive or endearing about willful ignorance. Being thick is not cool.
• Avoid arrogance it’s ugly. Be proud of your success but endeavor not to boast or assume superiority. Remember that success is often fleeting.
• Avoid complacency – never stop striving to be better, never feel like you have arrived at the top because when you do, the only way is down.
• Embrace diversity – because somebody is different does not make them better or worse than you, in fact it probably means that they have something to teach you.
• Have fun and enjoy your friends – at the end of the day happiness is what we all strive for.

Very few people are smart enough to plan the trajectory that their lives will follow and even fewer have the capacity to execute such plans. Far better is to define a philosophy and see where it takes you. There are many things that you can do, not because A will lead to B and then to C, but because they feel right, or because it feels like a nice thing to do. Most will not get you anywhere but the most unexpected can lead to doors that you never imagined being opened.

 

And remember whether you turn into a pink princess or a tomboy, a rocket scientist or a beautician – we will always love you.

Friday Joke - Facebook

Facebook and social media is changing the World. So in a week where social media is being credited with regime change in Tunesia and uprising in Egypt it is good to remember that 99.999etc% of the time it still used for less heroic deeds.

Almost feel sorry for this poor girl ...

And given the number of people having babies at the moment, here is a handy guide on how to respond if you hear the news via Facebook

Wednesday Movie - Lofoten

Since I am back in the UK Ian has kindly sent me this to remind me how cool the ski mountaineering is in Norway. This movie is fron Lofoten, somewhere I never got to in winter - maybe someday. I will be sure to book the helicopter.

The movie really shows how amazingly beautiful the place is, riding 1000m mountains to the sea with the northern lights going off - awesome 

Image resizing

If the image you want to put in a document or webpage doesn't fit, what can you do?
You can:

1. Shrink the whole thing, which means that the bit you are interested in may get too small
2. Crop it, so that you lose context of the subject
3. Squeeze or stretch it, so that it become distorted

And until very recently that was it. There were no other options.
What else could you possibly do?

Check out this short video, its one of the coolest things I have seen in ages. I guarantee you will watch it a second time.

Stolen from Ola's blog