LML - Love My Life

No really, this is not a joke.

The Olympics is a rip roaring success. The opening ceremony was fantastic, everything you would expect from Danny Boyle. The sport has also been good,  I have never watched track and field before, I always thought it was terminally dull, but I am have been totally captivated by it this year. Its nice to see people becoming famous for doing a lot of hard work rather than for being shallow, brainless BB or TOWIE z-listers.

And then NASA land a rover (fortunately not built by Rover) on Mars using a sky crane. This thing has a laser that shots rocks - how friggen cool is that. This is not science fiction, its fact and just looking at the pictures it sends back is utterly incredible. It sends a shiver down my spine to see those expansive images of that desolate waste.

In politics the lib-con coalition is falling apart, bankers are being arrested and Rebekah Brookes et al are all being charged - it could only be better if Tony Blair and George Bush were tried for war crimes.

And on a personal note, the house is getting built, Sophie is growing up very quickly and more and more fun every day. I am getting more field work done than I have in years, Spain, Utah, Greenland and off to Ireland in a couple of weeks. Projects are going well and their is lots of new stuff on the horizon.

So forget FML, I "LML" at least at the moment. Just watch some bugger mess it all up ;-)

Travelling...

After a fine long weekend in Spain with the family I am now heading to Greenland for 10 days of playing with helicopters, laser scanners and the Jurassic, whilst trying to avoid being eaten by a bear.
Pretty pictures will be posted when I get back, in the meantime, no jokes or movies unless we have internet connection and its raining a lot

How to pay a Catalonian (Catalunyian) Speeding Ticket

I recently received a speeding ticket while in Catalunya (NE Spain). The ticket was in Spanish and it took a while to resolve, so here is a summary of what to do if this happens to you. 

I initially did some google research and found a couple of useful links of which this was the best. You need to scroll down because the first part of his instructions pre-date the option to pay over the internet. The correct procedure is outlined in the postscript and in the comments. 

I followed these instructions and got to all the right pages but it would not except the ID number. I kept trying until I gave up and called the Travel Department (DGT) on 00 34 902 508 686. I gave the women the number and she said the ticket was not from DGT but from the local Catalan Government (the clue was that is said Servei Catala de Transit on the summons). 

So I found their site and after a lot of looking around I figured how to pay online.  The site is www.gencat.cat/ovt but rather than repeat all the steps I went through to find the right page there is a link here that will take you straight to the payment page. 

1. Follow the  link 

2. Once you get on to that page enter the Numero de Expediente from the top right of the summons. Enter this number without dashes or slashes

3. Then for ID select Altres (others)

4. Then put in the ID number from the bottom centre of the summons (it will probably include some version of your name)
5. Click cerca
6. The next page shows the details of your fine. At the bottom right is a button "pagament amb targeta" pay with card, click this. 
7. A new window pops up, fill in the card number and expiry date then press continuar
8.  Next window fill in the short code on the back of the card, click continuar again 
9.  The final window should show that you have made a successful payment. Look for the big green tick. 
10. To print a receipt click on imprimir
The fine was very reasonable. Because I paid quickly I got a 50% reduction and only paid 50 euro for doing 150 kmh in a 120 kmh zone. That's half what it would be in the UK and if I was caught doing 150 kmh in Norway they would have sent me to jail - no really they would. So all in all don't mind paying it. Firstly the law is very clear, you know the limits and if you chose to ignore them you should not moan about the consequences. Think of it as an extra tax, you want to drive quickly then you have to pay the speed tax from time to time (like all taxes its higher in Norway!). Also the Spanish economy is buggered so any help we can give them is useful and should not be resented. 

POSTSCRIPT Jan 2013
It seems that the link doesn't work anymore but someone has posted in the comments that you can call 0034 902 400 012, select option 2 and then get a person who speaks English and will take your card details. I have not tried this. If anyone finds the new link and sends it to me I will also update the directions above.

Wednesday Movie - Shattered

"Our darkest fears are like dragons, guarding our deepest treasures"
Awesome ice climbing short here - pure poetry

Things that made me laugh this week

Everyone should get this one 

One for Les

You probably need to speak a bit of Welsh to appreciate this 

You need to know what a pole dancer is to appreciate this 

You need to work with Oliver to appreciate this 

The Daily (Hate) Mail and Cancer

The Daily Mail is the pits of British journalism. Unlike the red-top tabloids which at least have no pretensions about being anything other then low-brow sports and entertainment comics for the masses, the Daily Hate pretends to be a serious newspaper whilst feeding a constant stream of raciest, homophobic, bigoted, right wing scaremongering. Best of all is the hypocrisy - they will show endless of photos lauding skinny celebrities whilst talking about the tragedy of anorexia in teenage girls on the next page. Or repeatedly run articles on the threat of Polish pedophiles to your children and then publish a story lamenting the fact that kids don't go outside anymore.  

If you have ever had the misfortune to read the rag, or even worse its online version then you will know that everything gives you cancer. Fortunately the nice people at Kill or Cure have done an excellent job of cataloguing a definitive list of the Mail's view on what gives you cancer and when you get it, what will cure you. This means that you can be saved without having to wade through all the other crap. The list is here and if that is a bit to boring to read then Chris has put it into a song here,   which is reminisant of Dan and Dan's Daily Mail song which we featured on here before.

The taxi driver's story

I heard this from a taxi driver who took me home the other day. It was so good I felt I needed to share it. This is told from his perspective.

_____________ 

Several year ago ah picked up a couple a young lassies and dropped um off in Dyce (NW Aberdeen) and went aboot ma  business. Ma next costumer pointed out that there was a handbeg left  behind on the back seat like. So I thanked um an put the beg in the front with the intention of drupping it off at the police station at the end of ma shift.

Twenty minutes later the phone in the beg starts ringing, so I answered, thinking I ma be able to find the owner

“Hello”

“Have you got my bag?”

“Ey, I have”

“What the fuck are ya duin wit ma bag, ya thieving bastard…”

“Hmm, well ya lift it in ma taxi”

“Oh”

She then hangs up

Five minutes later the phone rings again

“I want ma bag back”

“Ey, na problem, you have two choices, you cun either wait until I am in Dyce next, which ull be in un hoor or so, or you can pay the fare for me to come up there now”

“I want ma bag back you bastard”

“Yes you can have your bag back”

“I want it now”

“That fine but I am working so you’ll need to pay”

“Fuck ya! Ya bastard!

She hangs up again

Calls back ten minutes later

“I need my bag, its got my keys, and passport un money in it”

“That’s fine you can have it back when I am in Dyce”

“but I need it now, bring it to me now!”

“OK but you’ll have to pay the fare, am busy”

“Ya fuckin crook, you thieving bastard, I went my bag”

“OK, I am no gonna talk to you anymore, I will drop your beg at the polis station. That’s all I need to do”

“You fuckin bastard” etc etc

 Phone rings again. This time it’s a guy

“See you pal,  when you bring that beg roond, I am gonna kick ur fuckin heed in”

As if this was going to encourage me to drive to Dyce and drop the thing off.

At this point I stopped trying to be nice

“OK listen up and listen very good”

“Who the fuck da ya think ya talkin to pal”

“Just listen, because the next thing  you’re gonna hear is this stupid bag going into the Dee” (local river)

And sure enough

Rustle, Whooosh, Splash…..

Yea I stopped ma cab on the bridge put the phone back in, still on mind and just threw the bag, purse, keys, passport, whole  feckin loot into the river. Never even took the money out…

______________

Classic story, I laughed my head off!