Florence

Was done in ONS, a big offshore oil conference in Stavanger, still feeling a bit under the weather but we had a big party for the whole company on a yacht in the harbour. It was really good to see everyone relaxing and having a good time. They are a great bunch of people – we are lucky to have put such a great team together.

I called Katharine pretty late on and she told me that she had some very sad news. Florence had been run over. I was a bit pissed but that sobered me up, I was shell shocked. We don’t even live near the road, I always thought that they would be safe from the traffic, but apparently not. My neighbour, Hege had found her and called Katharine who had to deal with it all. Apparently Hege had been really sweet, she’s a lovely lady, but it doesn’t change the fact that little Flo has gone.

We got the two cats as kittens about two and a half years ago. I was not so keen on having them but Katharine made me. Once we got them I was a total convert, they were so adorable that it was impossible not to love them. At first they were almost identical except for the bushy white tip of Lola’s tail. We were originally told they were boys and they almost got called Erik and Ernie, but we quickly noticed that they were lacking certain bits and they became Florence and Lola – Flo and Lo.

As they grew up they became very different, both in personality and in appearance. Lola grew to one and a half times the size of Flo and has always been very confident, demanding attention all the time, stomping around and behaving live a total tart when anyone came to the house. Lola has the looks and the attitude but she is also not especially bright. Flo was smaller and definatly more reserved. She loved to get attention, but on her terms. She would be aloof for days then suddenly just demand some lovin, she adored having the top of her head and then her chin tickled alternately. She was much smarter than Lola and was always the one that figured things out first, like the catflap and the ladder that replaced the stairs for a while. Flo was also the hunter, bringing in birds and mice. Generally as presents that you didn’t really want. They were a great double act and super company when ever I was in the house on my own.

And now Flo has gone. Its very sad! We were sat up last night talking about her and almost waiting for the clap flap to clatter and for her to skit into the room and demand attention. When I went to bed last night there was a space at the bottom of the mattress that was hers but as I turned in my sleep, the movement of my feet were not restricted by a small body taking up a large part of the duvet. Sad as it is we have to accept that she is gone and keep it in context. People suffer far greater losses everyday and many animals are abused and tortured so that they never know any love, only fear and brutality throughout their lives. We know that she had a nice life. She made us happy and we loved her very much.

I am not a spiritual person, not at all, but at times like this it’s hard to not to want to say “she’s gone to a better place” or something similar. But the reality is that she has just gone. Her legacy is the memories we have, the way she made us laugh, the feelings we have for her and the way in which she enriched our lives. Her passing also emphasizes that old adage “live everyday as if its your last” because you really have no idea what is around the corner or what will happen tomorrow.

Life in Norway VI - The Norwegian Royal Family

If you thought the British Royal family were a disgrace, and they are, you should see the Norwegian one, less inbred and unpleasant but much more colourful. The elder royals seem ok, King Harald and Queen Sonja are fairly restrained and well respected, he is also pretty handy in a sail boat. The next generation however, is a different story. The crown prince, Haakon married Mette-Marite, who in the early 1990’s was a drug taking rave-chic, who has allegedly appeared in a few dodgy movies and had a child by a convicted drug dealer. She seems to have quietened down a bit in the last couple of years and slipped in to the role of demure royal quite well. So you might just say, good for her, at least she has a colourful past and is in touch with real people. A few countries around the world would be better off if they had a crown princess who had ”given it large” and popped a few e’s in their younger days.

However Haakon’s sister Martha-Louise is a different story – she is an absolute barking fruit cake! She is obsessed with fairies and claims to have clairvoyant skills which she got from communicating with horses in her younger years. Tales of her whakyness are abundant, most recently she has started a college, Astarte Education, were you can do a three year course in ”talking to angels” at the bargain cost of 24000 nok per year. To open a school for “talking to angles” you are either a nutcase or a con-artist, her constant breaches and twists of planning regulations indicates the latter more than the former, but if her general demeanor is anything to go by, she is just another delusional nutter, all be it with a royal background. Either way it does not paint a very good picture of the family or the country.

She is the elder child but fortunately when she was born the line of succession went to the first male born in the line. This was changed in 1990 but Harald was shrewd enough to see his daughter was not fit to run an egg and spoon race let alone a country and refused to back date the change. Smart guy.

Most Norwegians, well they are a pretty patriotic bunch and they love the King and Queen. The also love Haakon and Mette Marite, despite the fact that he has a beard and she has a colourful past, illegitimate child and tongue-twister of a name. As for Martha the loon – they are fantastically tolerant as only Norwegians can be.

Looking for the Wizard, Part 1

Quick summary of my dirt bike trip down under. Have split it into 3 parts to make easier reading (and writing).

Arrived in Perth in style but a day late courtesy of KLM. Friday I was jet lagged to buggary but did get to meet the other folks joining the trip, Gareth, who I have know for years, Jen and Justin, who were doing most of the logistics and Ben, the other bike rider, mechanic and MrFixit. Was very pleased to see that they all seemed fairly normal but I am not sure what they thought of me?

Saturday was a busy day, had a mad dash shopping trip trying to buy last minute things such as video tape, 3 pairs of cycling shorts (the guy in the shop was so impressed he gave me an extra pair from free) and a new bivvy bag (failed). Was able to borrow most of the bike gear I needed which was a bonus – thanks to Rich Woods for boots, pads and goggles and to Paul for the helmet. In addition to manic shopping we loaded the bikes onto Justin’s trailer and had Ffion’s birthday party. They didn’t tell her it wasn’t her birthday until Monday, I guess when you are two it doesn’t really matter, so long as you have a cake.


The bikes and supplies were loaded and Jen and Justin headed off on Saturday afternoon for Kalgoorlie. Apart from Ben’s apprentice blowing up our petrol tank on Friday afternoon, everything was going to plan – scary. Sunday, Gareth and I collected Ben, only two hours behind schedule and drove up to Kalgoorlie to meet the others. It was a 7 hour drive but it passed pretty quickly. For much of the way we followed the immense water pipeline that was built to take water from the coast to the goldfields. Apparently the poor sod who designed it committed suicide before it was finished because so many people told him it would fail – which it didn’t.

Arrived in Kalgoorlie which is a clearly a mining town and meet up the guys and the bikes. Being Sunday it was pretty quite but there were a lot of bars and “hotels” along the main drag and chalk boards advertising the “skimpees”. Skimpees are young ladies who serve drinks while not wearing very much – apparently its very profitable! Didn’t see any but its good to know that the outback is a desert for political correctness as well as water.

We visited the “super pit” – which is predictably a very big hole in the ground, were gold is extracted at 0.1 ounces per ton! It made me wonder why? Gold is actually pretty useless. Sure in the old times it was required for currency, but not now? At least oil and coal have a use, they provide energy, but gold, its just used to provide nasty jewelry for Essex boys with no taste and very expensive speaker cable. I don’t really get it.

Pondering that we headed out to camp, just outside of town. At the camping spot we unloaded the bikes and I got to ride mine for the first time. It was emotional! It was potentially more emotional as I almost got lost on the maze of dirt tracks that cut through the bush, which would have been very embarrassing. Found my way back just as it was getting dark and dinner was well under way.

I quickly learnt that Jen and Justin know more about camping and bush living than Mick Dundee. They are awesome. The cars were totally organized with fridges and storage draws; dinner every night was cooked on huge open fire and was better than most restaurants. We had cooked breakfast, morning tea, sandwichs for lunch, afternoon tea, and then a hot snack and dips before supper. I had planned to loose some weight on the trip but that clearly was not going to be an option.

First night was a bit chilly, sleeping out without a bivvy bag, especially since there was a heavy dew. Next day we breakfasted, loaded everything up and rode east, out of the goldfields and into the desert. Most of the days riding was on pretty good tracks and graded roads. This worked well for up as a I got the feel of the bike. Riding a dirt bike is nothing like riding a road bike, you have to get used to everything sliding and slipping under you. Its somewhat disconcerting at first but you quickly get used to it. I ploughed through a few large puddles, almost drowning in one and earned myself the nickname Nemo, much to Ben’s amusement. By the end of the day my ridng had improved although the gravity monster had scored his first point in some deep sand.

We camped the night by some aboriginal water holes, not much more than small depressions in a limestone pavement but the water was obviously enough to attract some wild life and I got to see my first Kangaroos. Next day and the riding got a lot more interesting, off the graded roads and on to tracks. The scenery was changing as well, its amazing how much variation you can have on the theme of red desert with green scrubby bush. In the afternoon we stopped at an amazing salt lake. The first of many. This was small, about 1 km across and looked like ice. In the center there was water standing on the hard, crusty salt surface. It was beautiful. Jen found a spider that was trapped in the salt – he looked pretty fierce, even though he was clearly very dead.

Sometime that afternoon Ben, who was in the lead saw some wild dogs and headed off cross country to investigate. He latter confessed that while he was trying to get closer to one he actually ran it over. He spent the rest of the trip wishing he hadn’t confessed and getting constant flack for persecuting poor Fido! Feral dogs are a real problem out there as the kill all the indigenous mammals which have never had to deal with predators. The dogs are actually poisoned; there are signs in some areas warning that there is dog bait down. Justin told of a trip he ran where someone’s pet dog wandered off, ate some bait then died, frothing at the mouth, in front of the kids. Nice! Maybe Fido got off lightly after all.

The quality of the camps was also improving and we were starting to get a bit of a routine together. We would stop about 3.30pm and Justin and Jen would park up and arrange the camp while the rest of us collected wood. There is so much dead wood there that a huge pile generally takes about 10 minutes to accumulate. Then we would light the fire and set up the camp beds and chairs while Jen rustled up the afternoon appetizer. This would generally correspond with the first beer being cracked and dinner would follow. Bike maintenance under the watchful eye of Ben the master mechanic would ensue.

KTMs are probably some of the best offroad bikes in the world. They are certainly amongst the most iconic. We had three 450 EXCs , light, easy to handle, very tough and ideal for this sort of terrain. They did have one problem though, the tend to lose bits. All the rattling and bouncing about results in bolts working loose and bits dropping off. We lost several nuts and bolts in the first few days before we restored to checking everything each time we stopped and using locktight to actually glue the bolts in! And yes it works.

That night, our third under canvas it was brutally cold! By the morning the thermometer was reading a min. of -5. The wok which had been soaking from Gareth’s rather excellent curry escapade the night before was frozen solid! Nobody told me it was going to be cold. Well actually they did but I just ignored their advice and figured that they were all light weight aussies who didn’t know what cold really meant! After that night a was a firm convert to the “hot water bottle” club – of which Jen and Justin had obviously brought 5, one for each of us!

Took a while to warm up but eventually we got going. More great riding to the Plumridge Lakes nature reserve. Here our well organized guides had ordered some wild life and I got to see my first camels, emus and some more kangaroos. I knew that the trip was close to perfect as I rode along a dirt track with two large red roos bouncing along beside me.

Great riding as the track got tighter and more bendy. Constantly changing from soft sand, to gravel to hard packed mud. Whizzing through the trees and dodging fallen trunks, pot holes and termite mounds at 70 – 100 km/h. It doesn’t get much more fun, until you fall off! Even that doesn’t hurt too badly. The other guys were much better riders than me but I was managing to keep up (ish) on all but the most bendy sections.



Lunch time Jen managed to stake a tyre on a fallen tree. She received a mild ribbing but nothing to great. Justin dived in with his puncture kit and plugged the hole in about 2 minutes. Very impressive, I have never seen that done to the side wall of a tyre before and it lasted until the end of the trip.

That evening Justin got his rifle out. He figured after some many days of not washing and messing about with bikes and cars we were red neck enough to play with guns while drinking beer and shoot the cans. Much fun was had by all. There is something compelling about shooting stuff – I am not sure what it is, weather it’s the satisfaction of the well oiled mechanical workings of the gun or the challenge of hitting the target or what. Say what you will about guns, but you have to admit that they are fun! Especially when the targets are only empty beer cans and rocks. After we eventually tired of killing beer cans we settled in for another great camp, another big fire, another top dinner and another cold night. This was getting into a rhythm.

Awesomely stupid, religous americans

These people are depressingly stupid...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7566566.stm

Unfortunatly their equally moronic leaders run the most powerful country in the world.

Back in the land of sit down toilets

Just sitting in Gareth and Sue's living room having got back from the outback last night. The final part of the journey included 9 hours of road driving - this is a big country! It was really interesting to see the gradual transition from untouched outback, through the gold-fields with all the mining activity, into the wheat-belt and then across the escarpment into Perth and the sea.

The second part of the trip included more fantastic scenary, great riding and lots of animals. We ticked another conflunce point, which was a bit easier than the last, and rode about another 1100 km. The weather stayed kind to us although it was still cold at night! Saw a lunar eclipse very early on the last morning.

Took one fairly big spill which involved clipping the edge of a hidden termite mound and me and the bike parting company mid-air. The result was a broken panel on the bike, a shattered boot which could have been a broken shin (that's what the gear is for) and a soar shoulder for me! Could have been much worse. Apart from the the riding was great although I never quite managed to keep up with Ben and Gareth on the really bendy bits.

Now back in Perth having slept in a bed for the first time in two weeks. It was very pleasent to have a shower, loose the beard and sit on a toilet. Now sorting through 1200 photos and wondering what to do with 8 hours of video tape! Great trip, lovely people, fantatsic riding, awesome country, basically everything I hoped for and probably a bit more.

Will post some pics etc as I get things sorted.

Quick update from the outback

We left on Sunday, drove 7 hours to Kalgoolie in the car. There we meet up with the bikes and headed out into the outback proper. It's now day-8 of the trip and we have just got back to something vaguely resembling civilisation.

Seven days of great riding, camping under the southern sky, cooking on big open fires and seeing the country. The weather is cool and pleasent during the day and very cold at night. We have covered about 900 km so far, all of it on dirt tracks and off-road, my dirt bike riding is getting better every day and the gravity monster has only got me a few times! The bikes are holding up with only limited mechanical problems to date and nothing we couldn't fix in the bush. We have ticked a conflunce point, which someone else had beaten us to and have seen Kangeroos, camels, wild dogs and dingos almost daily.

I have never imagined that there could be so many variations on "red desert with green scrub" but the sceanary is constantly changing - its a truely amazing place and I am lucky enough to be seeing it with some fanatstic people.

Just stocking up on supplies before heading back out now for another 7 days. Will post more when I get back

Mixed start to the tour

Made it to Amsetrdam ok, then when I went to board the flight to Kaula Lumpa at 8pm it was delayed till 10pm. No big deal. Then it was delyaed again to 11pm and then it was cancelled, until the following day! Lots of pissed off and stressed people!

KLM stuck us in a chessy hotel at the airport which has probably been used as a set for more special interest movies than Hugh Hefners mansion. Nice!

Next morning back at SkiPole, and this time the flight left on time. During the boarding was a bit worried that they might have reassigned the seats and I would have lost my exit row! The alarm went off as I was boarding and the lady said, oh you have a new seat! Shit - 12 hours cramped up surrounded by screaming kids. She then wrote 74f on my ticket - things were looking up, that is upstairs in a jumbo and potential business class.

This was confirmed on boarding the plane and KLM were instantly my favorite airline all over again. Very pleasent flight, re-wrote a big chunk of a students thesis until the battery on the laptop died and then watched a couple of movies. Its the only way to travel.

Now sat in KL waiting for the next flight which will not be business class and I will most probably be stuck in a middle set surround by screaming kids but such is life...

Should arrive only 16 hours late!