I'm off to see the Wizard, the wonderful wizard...etc

Sitting in SkiPole airport on route to Australia for a three week holiday, off road biking in the outback with Gareth and some of his mates. Its going to be great. Its only really just sunk in that it is actually happening and I am pretty excited and just a bit nervous.

I have been riding bikes for 25 years, lots of miles all around europe but not a huge amount of off road stuff. I get the impression that these guys do this a lot and are pretty nifty, hopefully I won't be "the fat german at the back". We'll see how it goes anyway. I know for sure that the sceanary and the setting will be stunning and the riding good fun. I have always loved spending time in the desert and it will be a treat to sleep out under the southern sky again.

So 26 hours as a hostage to KLM and I arrive in Perth at midnight on Thursday. Don't think I'll be able to post too much after that but we shall see what happens...

The map below was provided by Gareth when I asked for some more info on where we were headed. Hmmm looks kinda empty, but I guess that is the point.

Gareth's very detailed map

My cats are stupid...

The cats have a cat flap, which seems to be a bit of a novelty in Norway. On seeing it one Norwegian friend said "oh your cats have a fire escape, how cute!" Yes well...

Anyway there is a serious bruiser of a cat in the neighbourhood who has figured out the cat flap and comes in, creating trouble and eating all their food. Fatty Lola does have a go at him, but I have noticed its only when I am stood behind her. Otherwise she runs off. Flo - she is just skitty and shit scared of everything, because everything is bigger than her and bullies her, so maybe she is smart.

Anyway since I am going away I opted to import a special cat flap that operates off the micro-chip in their necks and only lets them in. Figured it was fitting for an evil lair to have a high tech cat flap haw haw haw!

Got the flap smuggled into the country from Jersey, via Bradford and Glasgow (long story) and installed it this evening.

Now its in the same place and looks pretty much the same as the previous one, attached to a little tunnel through the wall. The door is on the inside of the house rather than the outside and it clicks as the lock goes on and off. But apart from the its exactly the same, so the cats should have no problems, right? Wrong!

Lola wedges herself in the tunnel and bats the door until it locks itself again and Flo runs a mile at the click! Despite being pushed through it numerous times its all a bit too much for them!

Bless - well at least Katharine and Graham are there for a few days so hopefully they'll figure it out. I am not so sure though.

This is getting boring!

At least it is raining in New York!

That could have been me!

Interesting piece in the paper today about a 41 year old man who fell out of his boat and got run over - sound strangley familiar! This happened while they were towing a skier in the fjord right outside the lair on Monday night.

He is still in hospital with a mangled hand - Ow!

Another great weekend - Yawn

Weather still stunning. Spent Friday night sitting on the terrace with Katharine and drinking far too much wine (about 2 bottles too much to be precise).

Pottered around on Saturday doing jobs and shopping, spent lots of money on the boat. The great thing about having a new toy is all the gadgets that get to buy to go with it, and boats are a whole new world! Saturday evening Ian and Ali and their offspring came around and we had a barbi and a very pleasant evening on the terrace.

Sunday went climbing to Lykøy with Scott, Katharine and Ceclie. It was very hot and mobbed by a bunch of tattooed Poles when we arrived but they soon left. The somewhat spectical, "I have lived in Liverpool for 10 years", part of me was convinced that they were going to rob all the stuff out of the car, but this is Norway and everyone is nice, even the visitors, so I was obviously and thankfully wrong. Did a load of routes and took a nice fall on a 6 which Scott dispatched effortlessly. I decided I was spent, my tips were trashed so he did another 3 routes, including a 7- to remind me how great it is to be young and fit!

Another barbi on sunday night and another evening on the terrace basking in the evening sun sipping beers and watching the world go by. Will this great weather ever end? Remind me that I said that after we have had 50 days of rain in November.

Summer in Bergen

Had a fantastic week – just finished a big project in work and things have relaxed a lot. There are only 5 people in the office now. Lunch is like being on some TV reality show as the numbers decrease by the day! The weather has been really nice so we have been out playing every evening. Climbed most of the routes at Atlantis on Monday eve with Katharine and she managed to led her first route – good effort. Went kayaking down at Glesvær on Wednesday evening. Really lovely conditions, no wind and a beautiful sunset.

Last night went to Gjøkeredet with Scott, Jamie and Camilla. The crag was basking in the evening sun. Scott and I climbed a load of routes, trying to stay on the steep stuff, away from the slabs which were greasy in the heat. Ended up trying to solo a traverse over the water and predictably fell in. The water was lovely and the subsequent swim was a great way to cool off.

This is life in western Norway at its best.

Photos by Jamie - next time please try and make me a look a bit more heroic and a bit less fat - Ta! :-)

Run over by my own boat!

After my visitors left the rest of last week was fairly mellow Come the weekend, the weather was not great and Katharine was back in the UK so I worked on some Tor and Håvard's theses on Saturday. Sunday, Leppard, Dan, Mark and Scott came around to play in the boat so we headed down to the southern part of Lille Sotra with the ring.

Everyone had a go and there were thrills and some spectacular spills. Leppard is the only person with a body mass so great that on the turns, with his extra momentum, he managed to overtake the boat! Scott on the other hand is so light that he was getting some big air off the wake. When I had my go Scott was driving which was fine, then Chris wanted to drive with Scott in the ring so he ended up at the controls. I was sat on the front.

We accelerated and I suggested to Chris that he slow down a little bit, he yanked back the throttle, the boat dropped off the plane like a stone and I went hurtling over the front! Classic comedy-moment. The boat was still running and heading forward so I was run over. I ducked and curled into a ball protecting myself as I heard the prop pass just over the top of my head. Everyone thought this was pretty funny and we carried on playing. For the rest of the afternoon, things got faster, the boys did a good job of hanging on to the ring and there were some long rides, some big air and some spectacular wipe-outs! It started raining as we headed back and I ended up driving with a diving mask and trying to tow Chris all the way back up the main shipping channel.

Later that night I was lying in bed and kept contemplating the damage that a prop could do to a person in the water! It was not a pleasant thought...

Note to self: hold on tighter when muppets are driving.