30 January 2011

Tobias PhD

Last Friday a Dutchman and a Swissman travelled to Norway to examine the research of a German who for the last 5 years had been supervised by two Brits in a research group which includes 2 other Germans, a Pole and a Norwegian. That seems like a pretty good working model for European collaboration.

So it was that Tobias had his PhD exam. And I am very glad to say that he passed with flying colours. After 5 years and a lot of hard work he pulled it all together with an excellent presentation which neatly summarized what is one of the most exciting developments in the study of outcrops for many years. The opponents (examiners) were good, digging deep enough to test his knowledge without getting hung up on the pedantic details. It was an excellent session and I felt genuinely proud to have been his supervisor. A great party was had in Nesteboden, which has the name suggests is an old converted boat house, in one of the less fancy parts of Bergen. It’s an excellent spot place for a party and has a really nice atmosphere. There was drinking and eating and dancing and good conversation until the early hours.

It is very easy for a supervisor to come up with an idea that, in the pub at least, seems pretty straight forward. It is then up to some poor student to try and make that idea into reality. That was Toby’s mission when 5 years ago we thought, hmm why can’t we just stick a hyperspectral sensor from a satellite onto a tripod and point it at an outcrop. It is obviously more difficult than it sounds but the luxury of being the supervisor is that the reality of the challenge is passed on to somebody who is probably smarter and certainly more committed to solving the problem.

We interviewed Toby over the phone and he seemed very smart. We offered him the position and he seemed very surprised. He arrived in Bergen and two endearing aspects of his character soon became apparent, firstly having grown up in the 80’s in the former East-Germany where Russian was the second language, his English was not great. In fact it took a while for him to get up to speed and even understand what we were talking about most of the time. Secondly, he has a love of being organized, often to the extent that it is detrimental, an example being when he took a room in a house before he arrived and was stuck for a year with 9 idiot undergraduates. As Brits we loved to dwell on examples of the failure of Germanic organization – the joys of being a multicultural organization.

Despite these hiccups and a few others – such as a years delay on the arrival of the scanner, he immersed himself in the project and also set about enjoying the outdoor life in western Norway. Just after Easter in his first year he came to my office sunburnt and battered. He announced that he had got like that from skiing across the Hardanger Plateau – a serious undertaking. The conversation went something like

Me: what the fuck happened to you, you look like crap?

Toby: I skied across the Hardanger over Easter.

Me: Respect, so have you done a lot of cross country skiing before?

Toby: No, this was the first time.

Me: Wow, so who did you go with?

Toby: I went on my own

Me: Oh really, so was it ok?

Toby: Not really, I got lost and couldn’t find the hut so I dug a snow hole with my cooking pan, it was actually a bit scary

At this point I was seriously wandering if this crazy german would survive his PhD.

But he did and he continued to have outdoor adventures, including long ski tours and kayak trips, including one to Svalbard which I am very jealous of. And we did fieldwork in the UK, in Portugal, Spain and Utah and gradually his project came together. He managed to solve all the problems that we had not even for seen, he managed to cope with the at-times surreal relationship with Cornershop Oil and he managed to submit a thesis which will be the benchmark for this sort of work in the future.

So “Prost for Toby” and I look forward to more adventures both in science and in the outdoors.

28 January 2011

Friday Joke - some geology

Talking to a group of primary school teachers about geology, and how to

introduce it to the young. The inevitable discussion on dinosaurs...all

kids are fascinated about dinosaurs.

So I asked the teachers, if so many kids were interested in dinosaurs, why

weren't there more geologists...

The answer...most kids grow up !

_______________________________

Two Geologists are walking across a granite outcrop one day. The first says

to the second "Hey, this terrain is unmetamorphosed". Replies the second

one, "No Schist".

_______________________________

TOTAL IMMERSION GEOLOGISTS

Total immersion geologists: Are you totally obsessed with geology? If so,

then you are a total immersion geologist. Here are the ten warning signs:

1) You judge a restaurant by the type of decorative building stone they use

rather than their food.

2) You manage to turn any conversation into a discussion of geology, as in:

"What did you think of that Superbowl game last night?"

"I must have missed that conference. Who sponsored it? Geological Society of America?"

3) The only thing you notice about attractive members of the opposite sex is the stone in their jewelry.

4) You refuse to let nightfall stop your field excursions and continue

looking at the outcrops using the headlights of your field vehicle.

5) You like rock music only because it's called "rock" music.

6) You will try to claw through the water flowing in a stream to get a better

look at the bedrock at the base of the channel.

7) You will walk across eight lanes of freeway traffic to see if the outcrop on the other side of the highway is the same type of rock as the side you're parked on.

8) You name your children after rocks and minerals.

9) You're not sure if you have children.

10) You view non-geologists as subhuman.

26 January 2011

The Album cover game

Things to do when you are bored...

1 - Go to Wikipedia and hit random. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”. Third picture no matter what .........it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Assemble in power-point or similar and upload

It really works...
Here are some results from facebook buddies

First, some moody, idie rock from Ivar...

Then some Californian surf rock from Brian...

A couple from Stan who told me about the game...

And finally a couple of my own...

It's amazing - it really works!
Now we just need to make some music and we could be as rich as Simon Cowell

25 January 2011

The "land of the large" at its best

Just in case you had forgotten how good America is at being a parody of itself, the Wednesday movie is here to remind you

Firstly with the Sarah Palin battle hymn - no its not a joke, it has transended crap so much that it has become art!

Then at a time when Jared Loughner, a total pyscho from Arizona does what saviour Sarah instructed him to do and pulls a gun and kills 6 people in a mall including a young girl, sales of the same gun rocket by 60% and the idiots from the NRA are recording total crap like this. And there is literally thousands more videos like it - you couldn't make it up!

Meanwhile a TV show about teenagers humping, drinking and smoking pot is described as "the most dangerous program ever!" slightly missing the point that nobody ever died from watching TV, but approximatly 9000 of them get killed by guns every year in the US.

As Gareth said "ban a TV show but don't dare suggest that we ban guns"

Marvellous

Sea Shepherd 2011 - Awesome result so far

I am fundamentally opposed to whaling, I believe that in a hundred years time our grandchildren will look back at us and shake their heads in utter disbelief at our ignorant and barbaric ways. Pretty much in the same way that we consider the slave owning classes of two hundred years ago.

I am also a big supporter of direct action - if something is wrong don't moan about it, fix it. I believe that there is no scope for compromise with these kind of people; what they are doing is wrong and anything short of murder is justified in stopping it. Its not a matter of their opinion vs mine; its not acceptable because its culture; its just fuckin wrong.

Consequently, I am a very big fan of Paul Watson and
Sea Shepherd and I have been watching their 2010/2011 campaign against the Japanese in the southern ocean with delight. A couple of years ago they were down in the icy waters of the Antarctic with a single boat chasing an entire Japanese fleet. Support has grown steadily over the last couple of years, no doubt helped by the publicity that got from Animal Planets "Whale wars". This year they are down there with 3 boats and a helicopter and it is turning into their most successful season ever.

They found the Japanese fleet almost immediately and set about a big game of cat and mouse. The Nissan Maru, the huge factory ship escaped but two of the three harpoon boats were tied up chasing Sea Shepherd. When they are chasing the protestors they are not killing whales!

Then today I read that they have again found the Nissan Maru and with over half the whaling season already gone and virtually no whales killed its looking like an almost unbelievably good result for both the Whales and for compassionate and intellegent people everywhere.

If you agree then visit
seashepherd.org and make a donation, however small to the people who are out there making a difference.

22 January 2011

Friday Joke - Missing Cat

Great Friday Joke this week, sorry its late (ie Saturday) but I had computer melt down last week.
This joke is from the same guy who gave us "can I have my spider back" which is rather bizarrely the most popular page on this entire blog...

Anyway enjoy and have a good weekend
______________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
____________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.
_________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
_________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.
_____________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
______________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

____________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
_____________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.


_______________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

________________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

___________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.
______________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

_____________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards, David.

______________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

_____________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
____________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

_____________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

21 January 2011

Computer problems

Total blue screen failure on my trusty laptop means I have at least temporaraly my supply of shit jokes (shame)
However I have a great one for today so if you came here for the Friday joke pop back a around 3pm and it will be uploaded

It is a good one and well worth waiting for!!